Does this brief exchange cause any flashbacks?
“I betcha can’t”
“I bet I can!”
“No way, I don’t think you can make it!”
“Yes I can, I know I can do it!”
“You’re stupid! No way you can jump over that mud puddle!”
“No, you’re stupid! I can easily do that!”
“I betcha can’t!”
“Oh yeah, I bet I can! Now watch THIS!”
For me, when I think of self-confidence, I flashback to childhood memories of being super-confident I could do something, or being readily able to admit if I didn’t think I could do something else.
As I passed into adulthood, I learned to be more reticent on both sides of the equation.
And when I encountered my first ever job transition, I entered with what I thought was quiet self-confidence in my abilities to find the next employment opportunity. But as each week slipped by, and the weeks became months, I caught myself very easily losing that confidence.
Come to find out, I was not alone. Years of research and literature abound explaining that the easiest thing to lose during a job search is your self-confidence. And hope is a close second! Hmmm, could there be a correlation? You bet!
I’m not going to get into all the scenarios during a job transition that could cause a loss of self-confidence. If you’ve been through one, you’re already painfully familiar with those. I’m also not going to mirror the infamous Bob Newhart skit where he poses as a psychiatrist, listens to his patient, and then tells her to write down these words, “Just Stop IT!” We know the psychology and accompanying triggers are more complex than that. 🙂
Start With Truth
Let’s start with what the Bible has to say about this topic, because grounding ourselves in truth with how God sees us is vitally important before we start visiting theories about why we see ourselves the way we do.
First, if we’ve turned from our ways to follow Him, He tells us that we are a new creature! (2 Cor. 5:17), and with that rebirth, the Holy Spirit now resides within us. Here are several verses that bear out the rationale we should have every reason to be confident in ourselves, with His residence in us.
- An oldie, but a goodie! He never gives up on us! Philippians1:6 “Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
- We can approach Him about anything! 1 John 5:14 “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.”
- His Spirit gives us confidence! 1 Tim. 1:7 “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self-discipline.”
- And when we feel weak, He’s got us covered! BIG time! 2 Cor. 12:9 “But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.”
- He rewards us to keep going! Hebrews 10:35-36 “So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised.”
There are many more verses you could apply as well – – those are just the ones that struck me the most! Google away about self-confidence and the Bible, and you’ll find many more promises! The key to remember from God’s word is that because of Jesus and His power, we can have confidence in and through Him, no matter how inadequate we may feel.
How to Diminish Self-Confidence
While there are a myriad of scenarios and situations which can cause you to doubt yourself, there are a few fundamental holes in a job search strategy that can lead to a lack of confidence.
- Spray and Pray – – You spend your time filling out applications and hoping one of them will hit for you. Bad idea!
- Nonexistent Networking – – Networking is THE best strategy, so to disregard it is perilous.
- I don’t know – – Becomes too frequent of an answer for you when someone asks you exactly you’re looking for.
- Blah Blah Blah Resume – – Your resume looks like a job description vs. accomplishments and key experiences.
- No Practice, BIG Problem – – You haven’t done mock interviews or practiced STAR stories out loud. Wrong answer!
- LinkedIn isn’t LinkedON – – Your profile doesn’t compel a future employer to stay ON it to find out more.
Within our library of blogs we address each one of these topics with more details to help you get on the “straight and narrow” for success! 🙂
How to Equip Yourself to Succeed
But let’s say that you’ve addressed these fundamentals…you’re still going to have the inevitable job transition experiences that can be less than fulfilling! How can you equip yourself to wade through those successfully?
- Networking – – Yep, of course that’s #1!! 🙂 Help others help you! This may take a mindset shift on your part, but it’s well worth the shift!
- Small Group – – Don’t go this alone! This may be a networking group, a Crossroads Career group, or a church life group – get in community somewhere for the downs (and ups!) of your job transition.
- Goals – – An easy one to lose track of during a job transition is the self-discipline (yep, the group above can help you stay encouraged and accountable) of setting daily and weekly goals. Part of the challenge with this is that most people aren’t sure what to expect during a job transition and what strategies are the best, so they’re not sure how to set realistic goals for themselves.
- Self-Care – – It’s easy to get wrapped up in a job transition and lose the self-discipline you may have had for your physical, mental, and spiritual well-being (hmmm, should I refer you to #2 again? :). Part of this also relates to your confidence and trust in God’s promises, so let’s not leave Him out of that equation.
- 10 Reasons – – Write down 10 reasons why you’ve been successful and read them every morning! Positive self-talk is waaaaaay better than the more natural negative self-talk that we tend to feed ourselves. What made you successful in your past jobs? Why were you the “get ‘er done” person on the team? What are your unique distinctions? To make this even more effective, fuel yourself with Scripture to get God’s truth into your mind vs. the father of lies trying to bring you down.
A job transition is inevitably emotional and can take its toll on your self-confidence. But with God’s help, some fundamentally sound strategies, and some practical tips, you can leverage your hope in Him to what’s next for you! Blessings!
Dave Sparkman currently serves as the volunteer Crossroads Career board chair and local ministry leader. He is also the founder and managing director of Spark Your Culture, a corporate culture consulting firm. Prior to that he worked at UnitedHealth Group, a Fortune #5 public company, serving in the role of Chief Culture Officer. His unemployment experience came from the implosion of Arthur Andersen, where he served as the West Region Managing Partner, People.
Connect with a Crossroads Guide
We would love to help you by setting up a time to talk to someone who can provide personalized career assistance.
