Psychology of the Job Search: I Wish? – Nope, I Can’t Wait!

Star light, star bright,

First star I see tonight; 

I wish I may, I wish I might

Have the wish I wish tonight

                            (Unknown)

This nursery rhyme, made popular with the 1940 Disney film “Pinocchio,” has been around for a long time. As a child, I remember sitting outside at night looking into the Kansas night for shooting stars, stumbling through these lyrics.

Fun, whimsical, light-hearted, and harmless. UNTIL you find yourself in a job search and “wishing” all sorts of things that are not practical, realistic, or even have a glimmer of being achieved. THEN, your wishes turn into yearnings and dreamings that can actually harm your job transition’s progress.

I Sure Wish…

Oh no, you might say! I would NEVER do that! (tsk tsk tsk…never say never!) What could you possibly mean?

Here are a few examples:

• I sure wish I would have finished college – says the 52 year old who’s been employed at the same place 30 years and is now discovering a college degree is a prerequisite for many job descriptions.
• I wish I would have just given him a piece of my mind! – says the person who was let go as part of a 30-person Reduction In Force (RIF).
• I sure wish I wouldn’t have given him a piece of my mind.  – says the person who was fired after yelling at his supervisor. 🙁
• I wish I would have stayed longer at some of my past employers – says the person who has worked at seven different places over the past three years.
• I wish those networking meetings weren’t so awkward – says the person who refuses to read, “The 20 Minute Networking Meeting” book by Marcia Ballinger and Nathan Perez.
• I wish those interview questions weren’t so challenging – says the person in job transition who never takes advantage of doing a free mock interview with a Crossroads Guide.
• I wish I wouldn’t have just quit without another job – says the person who just quit without another job!
• I wish this would just be over – says almost everyone about job transition.  🙂

Ok, that was fun. And I could have gone on and on. It’s so easy to while our time wishing for things that are simply not going to change. And by allowing our minds to easily drift there, we’re taking away from productive thoughts that keep us in the present moment or move us towards excitement for the future. 

Reframing ‘I Wish’ Statements

Our minds naturally wish things could be different, and without a discipline of redirection and reframing, we will simply waste a lot of time. How that works is actually really powerful and simple (but not easy).   

We reframe our “I wish” statement to either:

• “I’m grateful that I _____________”  (positive about the present moment). Examples:
  • received a fair severance package
  • have positive recommendations from past supervisors
  • have a resume that seems to be in good shape
  • have been meeting so many wonderful people!

Or:

• “I can’t wait to __________”  (positive about what the future holds). Examples:
  • finally take the time to figure out what my gifts are
  • use my Unique Distinctions as the anchor point for my interviews
  • put into practice the STAR interview questions I’ve prepared for
  • meet with my Crossroads online group again on Tuesday night

Here’s the key! The next time your brain wants to look backward at something negative (thus the “wishful thinking”), reframe it to the positive!

Keep Your Eyes on What’s Ahead

It’s so easy to look back at our past and think that our present life would be better if we could “wish” the past into something else. But that thought process keeps us holding onto things that are not healthy for us to move forward.

Scripture is FULL of verses talking about putting the past behind and moving forward. Here are a few:

• 2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” I could stop right there with that one – – HUGE statement! But there’s more!
• Isaiah 43:18-19 “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”
• Philippians 3:13-14 “Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

I encourage you to ask the Holy Spirit to help you with this change. Apply human wisdom, but yield yourself to how God wants to mold you as His child. Don’t let thought processes keep taking you back into the past, encouraging you to hold onto things that no longer exist.

So many things change as we age and experience more, but those changes don’t have to be viewed negatively. We can learn from our past to help us create the future. By spending time in God’s word and in prayer, we can better recognize God’s voice as He directs our paths.  

So, take a few moments to reframe your mind (Romans 12:2), and allow the Spirit to bring to your mind things to be grateful for in the present and excited about for the future. Blessings!