It’s been a tough day for Jerry! To start the day, he received a rejection phone call on what was his #1 prospect. In fact, he had felt SO sure about everything about it – – the role, the team, the company, the culture, the location…it was all such a great fit for him! Oh yeah, and being told he came in second didn’t do much to salve his wound!
Then, the networking coffee he had set up didn’t show up! He got ghosted! Not even a text response from the guy after he had sat at Starbucks for 15 minutes past the appointment time! It was like he didn’t even exist!
Oh, and it gets even better! He got home from the in-person interview, which he was already frustrated about since he didn’t feel like he had done well with his STAR stories, and his wife told him that the dishwasher had given up the ghost and they needed to get a new one! Like he has extra money for THAT!!
Jerry just felt like retreating into his shell! This job transition wasn’t going the way he wanted it to! He hated networking, answering questions about his past work, reworking his resume for the 47th time, and filling out online applications! What a drag! He can’t wait to get this all over with!
All right! Now it’s quiz time. Does Jerry have a Fixed Mindset or Growth Mindset?
Fixed Mindset vs. Growth Mindset
What are those? Fair question. A Fixed Mindset believes we are born with all our talents. If something hard faces us and it takes us too much time or if we think we make too many mistakes doing it, we just quit. Challenges are overwhelming to us, and we feel like someone is always watching how we perform.
A Growth Mindset believes we can improve at anything as long as we’re willing to try. We can be pleased with our hard work and can give ourselves praise for our efforts. Challenges are opportunities to learn something new, and we don’t get discouraged by time investments (vs. wasters) or mistakes.
Yep, you got it! Jerry has a fixed mindset!
Dr. Carol Dweck, a psychology professor at Stanford University, has been studying and talking about the Growth Mindset for over 30 years. And while she would contend we all have a tendency toward one or the other, she also strongly asserts that a Growth Mindset can be developed.
Dweck says, “This growth mindset is based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts. Although people may differ in every which way in their initial talents and aptitudes, interests, or temperaments, everyone can change and grow through application and experience.”
Here’s a visual that I thought illustrated the differences very nicely.
Developing a Growth Mindset
Ok, so if you’re like me, you may have ended up self-critiquing into a Fixed Mindset. What can you do to develop a better Growth Mindset?
Glad you asked! Here are six simple steps to start your journey toward a Growth Mindset!
- Awareness – as with many issues dealing with our minds, awareness of where we even are is the first step. Being able to listen to our inner voice and ascertain where it is landing gives us an opportunity to assess and change.
- Allow “fail” to become “learn” – Rather than looking at a shortfall as a failure, use it as an opportunity to learn. For Jerry, what might he have been able to do to finish first rather than second? I appreciate Michael Jordan’s view on failure: “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed!”
- Recognize your hard work – While we may feel like telling ourselves that coming in second is for losers, reframe that outcome to see all the good work that went into you arriving in that second slot! Don’t discount yourself and shoot your self-confidence (see last week’s blog!) 🙂
- Forget the “other guy” – Stop worrying if others are looking at your progress. Chances are, no one is! 🙂 Particularly for a job transition – each one is unique in and of itself! As Teddy Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy!” Don’t let looking at others rob you of the progress you’ve been making.
- Don’t go this alone! – Again, especially for job transition, now is not the time to think you can be all things to all people and do this process alone! Tap into any community you can and make it count. Lean into mentors for encouragement and assistance. Get a free consultation with new ideas from one of our Crossroads Guides. Enlist any small group you’re a part of to leverage the wisdom of that team!
- Create new pathways – Our minds can use the same paths over and over again, unless we consciously make an effort to change them. Start a list of Fixed Mindset words or phrases you find yourself slipping into and replace them with new neural pathways of Growth Mindset words/phrases. Here are a few examples:
- Instead of “This is too hard,” try “I can work hard to get this, but it may take a little time.”
- Rather than “I’m just not good at this!” substitute “What am I missing?”
- We’ve all said, “Well, this is good enough,” but what if we ask, “Is this really my best work?”
And of course, you know I’m going to use Romans 12:2 as the foundational Bible reference for this approach. “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” But I’m also going to pile on with Philippians 4:8, which tells us to shift our thinking, “Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Also, whenever you’re feeling a bit “fixed,” I’d encourage you to read some of the Psalms. David, an author of many of them, found himself in a fixed mindset quite a bit, but he always found his way to growth through the power of trusting in God. Blessings!
Dave Sparkman currently serves as the volunteer Crossroads Career board chair and local ministry leader. He is also the founder and managing director of Spark Your Culture, a corporate culture consulting firm. Prior to that he worked at UnitedHealth Group, a Fortune #5 public company, serving in the role of Chief Culture Officer. His unemployment experience came from the implosion of Arthur Andersen, where he served as the West Region Managing Partner, People.
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