Psychology of the Job Search: My Body Did What?!?

If you’re like me, you’ve probably heard for years about the importance of body language. My experience has been that the statement is made, and then one example is given, like “make good eye contact,” and then the speaker goes on with another point. 

Ok, first of all, what exactly does “body language” mean? And what does “make good eye contact” mean? And why do people make such a big deal about it? And how do I actually figure out what I may habitually do with body language? And what happens (gasp!) if I think I actually need to change something…how do I do that? 

Those questions (and others) prompted me to think it was probably time to get a blog out there about body language. We’ve mentioned it many times in previous blogs, so it’s only fitting that we describe this topic more fully. 

Body Language: What It Is

Let’s start with some definitions. Body language is the sum total of nonverbal cues you use to communicate with others. These cues usually signal your emotions, and they may be consciously or unconsciously sent. Understanding your nonverbal cues can help you present yourself better to others and help you understand how others may receive what you are communicating. 

Study after study shows how important nonverbal communication is. In fact, one survey showed that job candidates often demonstrate negative body language (think fidgeting or avoiding eye contact). 

So, with the what and the why summarized, let’s dive into the details!  The following is a list of nonverbal cues/body language characteristics to be aware of and some opinions on how they are received. 

Eye contact 

Always a fun one, and I know you’re just waiting with bated breath for me to expand upon what “make good eye contact” means! Good eye contact means you’re making a connection with your eyes to the person’s eyes with whom you’re communicating. It’s not a stare or a glare. It’s not penetrating intensely or fluttering loosely. Your eyes aren’t wandering all over the room. “Good” eye contact makes the person you’re with feel comfortable, listened to, and engages them in the conversation. “Bad” eye contact conveys distraction, boredom, or uneasiness.   

Smile 

My parents always made a point of telling me to smile when I met someone for the first time. This habit was reinforced when I read Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People” – in fact, there is a whole chapter on the importance of smiling. Most of us would think a smile would always be a positive body language habit to have, and most of the time you’d be right. BUT, I’ve encountered interviews where the candidate is smiling too much. It appeared the smile was frozen on their face. Like they were trying so hard to smile that they ignored the rest of the natural interactions of their face.   

Nodding 

If you’re nodding off to sleep, I’ll let you decipher that for yourself! 🙂 Generally, nodding in assent not only shows your agreement, but also that you’re engaged and are tracking what the speaker is saying as a positive reinforcement to the conversation. Overdoing nodding to where your head seems to be bobbing would be seen as a bit weird. 

Hand gestures 

It’s certainly not uncommon for people to speak with their hands, and to have subtle hand gestures matching or aligned with what is being said can be very positive. If hand movements become more exaggerated or broad, they can be distracting from what the speaker is saying.  

Tone of Voice 

We’ve all experienced the “how” of what is said outweighing the “what” of what is said. Tone can convey so much meaning and emotion! Start with the extremes: If you speak with a lot of energy and seem to be hyper all the time in your speech, pull it back and slow it down. If you speak without a lot of emotion and have been accused of a monotone habit, you’ll need to be cognizant of more voice inflection. 

Posture 

When you sit down, is your back ramrod straight, or do you happen to slump down in the chair a bit. Neither are too appealing when you’re meeting someone for the first time. A relaxed, comfortable, but not overly casual or stiff chair posture would be best. Then, as the conversation ensues, leaning forward slightly toward the speaker signals you’re engaged in a positive way. Of course, you don’t want to lean so far in that you’re trespassing in their personal space.  

Crossing Arms or Legs 

The majority of the time, these are negative postures. Crossing arms or legs symbolizes shutting a person out, or comes across as defensive, and it’s generally not welcomed in an interview process.  

Fidgeting 

A descriptor for this would be everything from constantly shifting your posture and weight around to moving your feet or hands to different places to rest. The source for fidgeting could be simple nerves at play, or the candidate just doesn’t feel comfortable sitting in a restful position. No matter the source – NOT good! Fidgeting isn’t interpreted positively, it is seen as disinterest or distraction. 

Ok, so there’s a quick primer on some common body language characteristics. You may be thinking I’ve gone a bit extreme in my description on some, but I’ve seen them all (then there’s the time a candidate fell asleep during the interview, but that’s another story for another day).   

And there’s more!  Blinking, stoic facial expressions, pursed lips, chewing on your lips, tapping your fingers…the list could go on and on, but at least you have a few!   

How to Set Yourself up for Success

So now you may be saying, “How do I catch myself from doing some of these, or how can I do the right level of these, before I wind up in an interview?”  The answer: Do a mock interview, and specifically ask your partner to be on the lookout for body language, for both positive and negative attributes. I’ve found that you only flush these all out in a practice interview with another person asking the questions. Practicing with a self-video process just doesn’t do it. 

Now, let’s wrap up with just a glimpse into how in the world Scripture addresses body language! Take a look (no pun intended!): 

• Matthew 6:22 “The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light.” 
• Proverbs 4:25 “Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you.” 
• Proverbs 16:30 “With narrowed eyes, people plot evil; with a smirk, they plan their mischief.”   

As usual, many different Scriptures talk further about how our behaviors reflect our thinking and our heart. I’d encourage you to google away for even more insights! Blessings! 

---

Dave Sparkman currently serves as the volunteer Crossroads Career board chair and local ministry leader. He is also the founder and managing director of Spark Your Culture, a corporate culture consulting firm. Prior to that he worked at UnitedHealth Group, a Fortune #5 public company, serving in the role of Chief Culture Officer. His unemployment experience came from the implosion of Arthur Andersen, where he served as the West Region Managing Partner, People.