Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you KNOW you should do something…but you just don’t feel like it!?! And maybe you’ve even done the task before…you KNOW you CAN do it…but you just don’t feel like it!?! Or perhaps earlier in the day you may have felt like doing the task…but now you just don’t feel like it!!!
If you’ve ever hit any of those three scenarios, or a combo of them, you’re a genuine, real, live human being!!
AND, we’re not even in junior high, and the statement “I don’t feel like it,” still fits for all of us.
How We Live Impacts How We Feel
The reality of how we live our lives has a LOT to do with how we FEEL about the activities and tasks with which we engage. If we try to ignore or “just do it” with an override command to our feelings, we will not be as successful as we could be with those tasks and activities. And going through a job transition does not give us a “pass” on our feelings. In fact, it exacerbates them!
After all, who just loves doing and redoing their resume for the 23rd time? Or, who looks forward with glee and excited anticipation about the search for the next networking prospect? Or, oh boy, I get to prepare for another interview and try to figure out what the interviewer is really looking for! Yep, if you’re like most people, job search tasks and activities easily cause us to “not feel like it!”
The good news?? We have some practical and tactical tips for dealing with a dose of the “I don’t feel like its!”
How to Overcome the ‘I Don’t FEEL Like Its’
First, Scripture tells us quite a bit about our emotions and feelings. Proverbs 29:11 says, “Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.” Proverbs 25:28 also warns, “Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.” Colossians 2:8 gives us insight into how we’re to achieve that wisdom and self-control with, “See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than on Christ.”
Second, particularly knowing that Scripture acknowledges our emotional weaknesses, we should let go of self-judgment. That is, knowing that to be a normal human being includes not “feeling like it” sometimes. I’m not saying we must give in to those feelings but instead acknowledge that feeling that way is just normal. Don’t be hard on yourself for experiencing those feelings but go right into our third point!
Third, understand and acknowledge that you are an active participant in your thoughts, emotions and behaviors. And realize once again that your thoughts can govern your emotions. KNOWING that you can and should do something CAN override what you feel about that something. We’ve all, at least occasionally, done something even though we didn’t feel like it. And we were all very glad we did it!
Fourth, think about that feeling you had after accomplishing the activity you mentioned above. Imagining the impact of an activity can be a powerful catalyst to help you move forward the next time you don’t feel like it.
Fifth, give yourself some accountability for that task you don’t feel like doing by sharing your plans with a friend or family member. Someone who can give you that encouragement to follow through with your intentions.
Sixth, start small. If pursuing that next networking contact feels overwhelming, then break down the steps you think it will take to achieve that end, and just go after the first step rather than the whole enchilada. Once you achieve that first step, go after the second. Be real and reasonable with yourself.
Seventh, preparing in advance helps quite a bit and plays in concert with the sixth point. If pursuing networking is a difficult task for you, line that pursuit up when your brain is freshest. Don’t let other “to dos” crowd out the “big rock” to do of networking. If you’re a morning person, do it in the morning. If you’re a night owl, then vice versa. Play out how God wired you to leverage your best to the task.
Finally, be real with your expectations. If you are a lousy networker, then don’t expect to hit with 20 people per week. Aim for 3-5 people per week. If typing up resume revisions drives you crazy, just go after the edits in small doses each day rather than attempting a complete overhaul in one sitting.
Overall, remember that gaining behavioral activation is about your consistent action, not just the initial feeling you may experience. Just because you don’t feel like it simply tees up the opportunity to do something about just that!
Little done often makes much! Blessings!
Dave Sparkman currently serves as the volunteer Crossroads Career board chair and local ministry leader. He is also the founder and managing director of Spark Your Culture, a corporate culture consulting firm. Prior to that he worked at UnitedHealth Group, a Fortune #5 public company, serving in the role of Chief Culture Officer. His unemployment experience came from the implosion of Arthur Andersen, where he served as the West Region Managing Partner, People.
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Comments 2
Great insights as always, Dave! Thank You
Thank you for this!