There’s a popular children’s Sunday School song entitled, “O Be Careful Little Eyes.” The song also has stanzas about being careful with our tongues, feet, hands, minds, and hearts. One stanza goes like this:
“O be careful little tongue what you say
O be careful little tongue what you say
For the Father up above
Is looking down in love
So, be careful little tongue what you say”
I’m immediately reminded of Scriptures cautioning us about what we say:
- James 3:5-6 says, “So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. But no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.”
- Luke 6:45 states, “The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”
- Proverbs 21:23 tells us, “Whoever guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.”
And…there are many more! I can easily relate to these verses and this Sunday School song, and perhaps you can as well. If you’re like me, there are many memories I have of not saying the right thing. And those are just the ones that I’ve caught or have been told about, let alone the misses I have that I’m not even aware of! Whew!
What You Say Matters
Now, since this is a Crossroads Career blog, you’re probably already tracking where this is headed, and you’re correct. What we say while networking or in an interview matters, and we should be thoughtful and wise with what we share with others. But, I’d like to get a bit more specific on this than just a general caution. I’d like to follow up last week’s blog about how you can look ahead to try to discover if you’re going to be walking into a toxic workplace (See that HERE), to now discuss a little bit of how you could talk about a toxic workplace that you’ve been in when you’re interviewing for a new job.
In a Forbes article entitled, “How to Explain Leaving a Toxic Workplace in an Interview,” (see it HERE), they shared that an “iHire 2024 Talent Retention Report surveyed 1,544 candidates from 57 industries across the U.S. The most popular reason given for voluntary resignations was a toxic workplace. Some common signs of an unhealthy work environment include poor communication, low morale, bullying and a lack of transparency.”
Bingo! If you’ve left a toxic workplace, how do you respond to the question that WILL be asked, “Why did you leave or why do you want to leave your current job?” The article outlined 5 steps to develop a professional response:
1. Craft a response in advance – Preparation is key.
2. Remain positive – Don’t blame others and speak in broad terms.
3. Be brief but honest – Focus on facts rather than gossip.
4. Focus on why you’re interested in the role – Answer the question, but refocus to the positive of the current role.
5. Explain your long-term career goals – Demonstrate your qualifications while discussing how this role helps you achieve those goals.
In addition, several examples were given on how to respond. Here’s one I liked:
“While I enjoyed my time there, the company culture wasn’t aligned with my values. That’s why I’m seeking a position here where I can contribute to a collaborative environment that fosters creativity and open communication.”
Practice and Preparation are Key
Overall, a very useful article, and I’d like to add a few additional points:
1. Practice, practice, practice – In addition to crafting a response, I’d encourage you to practice it out loud several times. I’d also get someone to ask you the question and see what they say about your response. Practicing as if it is “live fire” rather than just saying it out loud to yourself gets you much closer to the feelings you’ll have as you give a response. Emotions can sometimes take over the rational side of our brains, and we end up saying more than we had intended. Perfect practice makes perfect.
2. Stay focused on selling – Fundamentally, the purpose of an interview is for you as the candidate to demonstrate why you’re the best person for what the company needs most. Anything that detracts from that purpose detracts from you being seen in the best light for that job. Of course you’ll need to directly answer the interviewers’ questions, but thinking that you’re being helpful by going into a full explanation of the toxic workplace culture you’ve left or are wanting to leave is not the answer. Stay focused on why you’re the best person for the job.
3. Leverage into questions you have – Having come from what you consider to be a toxic workplace culture, you have a pretty good handle on the attributes of what you don’t want to experience again. Utilize that to craft meaningful questions for the interviewer to answer to help you ascertain what type of corporate culture exists at the new organization. For example, answer their question about why you left with your practiced answer, and then conversationally just flow into your question about how he or she would describe the values and culture at the new company.
4. Be prepared for deeper conversation – While I agree with the Forbes article of being brief, but honest, a good interviewer might want to probe deeper into your response. You’ve got to be ready with a next level down answer to expand upon the brief but honest response you gave the first time. It’s very similar to the principles you use when you’re explaining being terminated from your last position (See our blog post on that topic HERE).
For most people, being in an interview raises stress levels, and it’s easy for us to find ourselves saying things we didn’t plan on saying, and that does not bode well for us as candidates. Putting the tips above into practice can help you keep the interview focus where it needs to be – – on why you’re the best person for the job!
Remember, our tongues are little members, but can yield some big results! O be careful little tongue, what you say!
Dave Sparkman currently serves as the volunteer Crossroads Career board chair and local ministry leader. He is also the founder and managing director of Spark Your Culture, a corporate culture consulting firm. Prior to that he worked at UnitedHealth Group, a Fortune #5 public company, serving in the role of Chief Culture Officer. His unemployment experience came from the implosion of Arthur Andersen, where he served as the West Region Managing Partner, People.
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