Never Say Never or Always…Except Sometimes!?!

How many of you have heard that phrase before?  Or perhaps another version of it, “Never say never, and always avoid always”? Do you believe it? Have you found it to be true, or not so much?

When I reflect back on my life and now apply different adages I’ve heard or used, I’ve generally found this one to be true. But how does this apply to someone who is unemployed or unfulfilled?

We’ll start with Scripture on this, as the Bible is very clear with some “nevers” and “always.” Here are just a few:

• Deuteronomy 31:6 “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will NEVER leave you nor forsake you.”
• 1 Corinthians 13:8a “Love NEVER fails.”
• Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways (i.e. ALWAYS) acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
• 1 Thessalonians 5:16 “Rejoice ALWAYS.”

I could go on and on with God’s words, but I have to acknowledge it’s a bit of a stacked deck. God is unchanging and immutable. The Bible is full of His commands (not considerations) and His promises (not possibilities). I’d encourage you to both surf through and dive deep in His words to us, particularly if you want to be encouraged! (And who doesn’t want that???)

Another place we have to pause with never and always are in the laws of nature. Gravity tells us that on this earth, objects will fall. Period. They ALWAYS fall. They NEVER float. Unless, of course, you fill an object with helium, but that’s another law of nature itself! 🙂

Ok Dave, kind of interesting, but how does NEVER and ALWAYS…except sometimes, relate to being unfulfilled or unemployed? Got it, so let’s dive in with some truisms I’d suggest in this capacity, and of course, the antithesis to these truisms are also true. 🙂

Assumptions are NEVER Good

 Most of you have heard the adage that assumptions make an “ass out of u and me”? And while life is full of necessities for making assumptions, in this case I’m getting specific about the employer/employee relationship. I’ve seen far too many employers and employees assume they know what the other is thinking. Including how to “solve” the problem they assume the other has! (Yep, pretty convoluted!). For example, you may assume you’ll get a good raise or not, but you won’t know until you either ask or find out. You may assume you’re not qualified for the job posted, but until you find out for sure, you don’t truly know. I could go on and on. You get it. I’d suggest you can be proactive in this and many other areas to reduce the assumptions you’re making.

Expectations Kept Silent are NEVER Good

I can’t begin to tell you the number of times I’ve been in a coaching situation, and when I extract what the person aspires to and is working hard toward, when I ask them who they’ve shared their expectations with, the answer is a surprised, “no one.” While I can understand some reasons why people keep silent in this area (don’t want to presume or come across as too eager or boastful), I’d suggest that there is ALWAYS a way to properly share your expectations. And the same goes for employers. A lack of clarity on both sides with respective expectations is a sure-fire way to botch up employment or being fulfilled.

Not Exploring is NEVER Good

What do you want to be when you grow up? (I don’t know) What type of job are you looking for? (I’m not sure) What type of work do you think you’re best suited to do with how God made you? (puzzled silence) By its very definition, exploring is “investigating or searching out” a place or thing you don’t know much about. And without exploring, through a variety of different forms, you’ll never come to conclusions or reasonable approaches to try (see assumptions above). Plus, with exploring, you can always change your course. There’s not a “set” direction, so you can simply react and change as you see fit with what you’re discovering.

Keeping Options Open, ALWAYS Good

With my former employer, we actually started using the word, “optionality” as a way to clarify that many of the ideas and plans we were formulating were simply plans “A-Z”, not something that actually had to happen. I’ve seen many people in their careers become a bit pigeon-holed as to what they “will” do or “won’t” do (see what’s coming in my next truism). There are ALWAYS options, and many times the reason someone thinks there aren’t any is due to the confines of their own imagination and exploration. 🙂 If you find your options are limited, it’s a good time to get some counsel (hint: see my last truism).  

Never Say Never, ALWAYS Good

Hmmmm, am I messing with you here? Nope! I lived in Los Angeles for 10 years, and when I became unemployed, I figured someone in the midst of 15 million people would have a job for me. Nope! And I NEVER thought I’d move our family to the frozen tundra of Minnesota! But I did, and we’re still there! NEVER say NEVER! I’d suggest that in our career pursuits, many, many options exist, and many different scenarios can begin to play out. Probably all of us can tell story after story of unlikely things happening in our lives and the lives of others. No reason to think the same couldn’t happen with you and your career.

Networking, ALWAYS Good

You knew this one was coming! The undisputed king (statistically and anecdotally by career coaches) in finding the next gig. Please check out multiple blogs we have on this topic HERE!

Getting Counsel, ALWAYS Good

Proverbs 12:15 tells us, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.” Take advantage of a free career consultation with one of our Crossroads Guides, particularly if you find yourself not nodding your head to my truisms above! Ha! 🙂 Seriously, our Guides have wonderful, compassionate insights you’ll not want to miss!

So with being unfulfilled or unemployed, never say never or always…except sometimes. It’s a great way to go!  

Blessings!

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Dave Sparkman currently serves as the volunteer Crossroads Career board chair and local ministry leader. He is also the founder and managing director of Spark Your Culture, a corporate culture consulting firm. Prior to that he worked at UnitedHealth Group, a Fortune #5 public company, serving in the role of Chief Culture Officer. His unemployment experience came from the implosion of Arthur Andersen, where he served as the West Region Managing Partner, People.