It’s All About Relationships – – Connect Some Dots!

In the iconic 1996 movie, “Jerry Maguire,” Jerry’s mentor, Dicky Fox, offers this sage advice, “The key to this business is personal relationships.” That advice has stuck with me, perhaps because the businesses I’ve been in my entire professional career have been in the professional services industry. And while AI, ATS, and other acronyms continue to pervade finding fulfillment and finding a job space, I also believe that personal relationships are a primary driver (if not the key) to accomplishing those goals.

While you might tend to view today’s blog as singly on networking, I’d encourage you to broaden your view to include gratefulness, encouragement, and awareness of God at work through connecting some dots (click here to read more on this in last week’s blog).

How Relationships and Networking Connect People

Let’s start with some personal illustrations of relationships leading to networking which led to dots connecting:

I’m currently involved with a missions project in the country of Moldova. We are feeling led to pursue building a Christian Sports Center (instead of a Christian School – same mission, just change the context). After a 10-day trip to Moldova this past March, my fellow Crossroads Career board member (relationship), Tim Krauss, asked me how the trip had gone. Following a five minute debrief, he told me that he’d like to introduce me to Adriano, as Tim thought Adriano’s current work experience could prove useful to our Moldovan project endeavors. Andriano and I connected (networking), and the dots immediately connected because Adriano happens to be the athletic director for all of a major city’s youth athletic programs. His 15 years of vocational work experience directly ties to what we will be developing in Moldova! Tim didn’t know exactly what I needed, but he had heard enough to know that I could benefit from talking with Adriano.

About 3 weeks later, my good friend, Joe Colavito (relationship) heard a little bit about our Moldova mission, and he introduced me to his friend, Lowrie. Last week I networked with Lowrie, and again, multiple dots connected.

In addition to Lowrie having experienced and authored a book about sports ministry (“Focus On Sport In Ministry”), he also shared a story from over 30 years ago where he met a young Egyptian man at a Youth With A Mission (YWAM) retreat. Because the Egyptian only spoke Arabic, another young man from Brazil who spoke both Arabic and English interpreted the entire retreat for him. The interpreter was Adriano!! Small world, and another divine appointment for me, as Lowrie’s expertise matches Adriano’s, just in a different realm – – both of which we can utilize in our learnings as we launch this Moldovan project.

But wait, there’s more!

In my SPARK Your Culture consulting business, I’ve been given the honor of speaking to some University of St. Thomas MBA students under the tutelage of Kjrk Reyerson, a former colleague of mine from UnitedHealth Group (relationship). Kjrk will occasionally talk with a student who he thinks could prove to have a benefit from my meeting 1:1 (networking). This past week I spoke with Patrick, a referral from Kjrk. Within 10 minutes dots connected around Patrick’s prior functional study and work experience, along with his current nonprofit work and his hobby of hunting. We had a wonderful conversation, and I don’t yet know how that will necessarily benefit either of us. BUT, I know from past experience, an opportunity could easily show up.  There are simply too many overlaps and adjacencies for something not to come up where we may provide help or support to each other. 🙂

Lastly, Alan, a Crossroads Career online group participant (relationship) from a group I facilitated a few years ago reached out regarding one of my recent blogs with some thoughts. We arranged a Zoom conference (networking) to catch up and discuss Alan’s unique distinction ideas (click here to read more about unique distinctions) and his career aspirations. Before the end of the conversation we both connected dots in seeing an itch that Crossroads Career can help Alan scratch by him becoming a volunteer Crossroads Guide (learn more about Crossroads Guides here). That result was not an objective of the conversation, but through the relationship we had built through the 8-week online group (find an online group here), I had come to know Alan’s servant’s heart for others. By listening to his current story and suggesting that possibility, others may now benefit from Alan’s volunteer service.  

Yesterday, I was struck with these examples, and I then realized that I hadn’t given proper thanks to the sources of these connections. First to God, my Father, who arranges all divine appointments. And second, to the people responsible for the introductions. So, I took three minutes to send grateful text messages to Tim, Joe, and Kjrk.

Biblical Examples of Showing Gratitude in Relationships

Many Scriptures speak to our being grateful for relationships. Please consider these Scriptures and passages:

• Hebrews 10:24-25 “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”
• Philemon 1:4-5 “I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers, because I hear about your love for all His holy people and your faith in the Lord Jesus.”
• Philemon 1:10-12 “that I appeal to you for my son Onesimus, who became my son while I was in chains. Formerly he was useless to you, but now he has become useful both to you and to me.  I am sending him – who is my very heart – back to you.”
• Romans 16:21-23 “Timothy, my co-worker, sends his greetings to you, as do Lucius, Jason and Sosipater, my fellow Jews. I, Tertius, who wrote down this letter, greet you in the Lord. Gaius, whose hospitality I and the whole church here enjoy, sends you his greetings. Erastus, who is the city’s director of public works, and our brother Quartus send you their greetings.”

7 Ways to Build Authentic Relationships

Last, my buddy Joe also shared with me an acronym for 7 ways to build authentic relationships. I thought this was useful and hope it will be for you as well.  I’ve added a few words after each of the questions:

CURIOUS

Care for people

What’s my motive? Are you there to give…or get?

Unpack their story

What’s on their mind? Ask questions to learn more

Replay their highlights

What’s going right? We learn when we reflect on our experiences

Inquire further

What’s different? Hmmm, I wonder why, what, where, etc.

Observe emotions

What are they feeling? Feelings are powerful!  Tap into them

Understand the context

What am I missing? We all have selective perception. Step back and look again.

Serve their needs

What’s best for them? What can I give? Forget the get! 🙂

Things to Remember Regarding Relationships, Networking, and Dot Connection

A few thoughts to remember about relationships, networking, and dot connection:

1. Keep your awareness level of these high – – you never know when an opportunity may arise
2. Focus / Aim for giving – – sometimes settle for getting.
3. Who are all the people you know?  Who might benefit from knowing you’re unfulfilled or unemployed? 
4. Relational benefits are not necessarily immediate – – play the long game
5. Gratefulness is proven to be GREAT for your health – – practice it!

Take action today!  Contact a friend and connect some dots today!  

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Dave Sparkman currently serves as the volunteer Crossroads Career board chair and local ministry leader. He is also the founder and managing director of Spark Your Culture, a corporate culture consulting firm. Prior to that he worked at UnitedHealth Group, a Fortune #5 public company, serving in the role of Chief Culture Officer. His unemployment experience came from the implosion of Arthur Andersen, where he served as the West Region Managing Partner, People.