Is It Too Much to Ask? How Simple Responsiveness Can Accelerate Your Career

Our oldest son, Taylor, his wife, Nelly, and their two young children are currently living with us here in Minnesota. They are in between houses, and our basement was available, so we are glad to be able to support them. Their two-year-old daughter, Bella, is a beautiful, precocious, little toddler. She is a classic toddler – quick to learn, and with a mind of her own. 

Sometimes I’ll ask her something, and I’ll hear no response. I’ll ask again, and again, silence. Sometimes I wonder if she’s even heard me, but I can tell by her body language that, oh yes, she’s heard me. She’s just choosing not to respond. So, with parental approval, I’ve been working to help her learn that it’s simply not acceptable to “not respond.”  

Using the adage of, “Don’t you know better?” along with “Is it too much to ask?”, I’ve been persistent in not allowing her to “not respond.” I’ve told her that not responding is impolite. That it is frustrating for the requester (me), and that polite little girls are responsive to questions asked of them. 🙂 She’s actually catching on pretty quick!

The Importance of Responding: A Simple Expectation We Often Miss

Now, put yourself in a situation where you didn’t get a response back from someone. Perhaps you invited a person to an event, but never heard back. Perhaps a group text went out where you were asking who could attend or participate in something, and all but one person responded? Perhaps you recall being in a classroom where an instructor asked a question of the group (not rhetorically), yet no one responded (gets a bit awkward there).

Bottom line, I’ll pile on with the truism: Is it too much to ask? Let’s remember the definition of respond: to say something in reply, or response: a verbal or written answer. Not too tough, right?  

But yet, I’m betting none of us had trouble thinking of a situation where we didn’t receive a response. And the feeling that’s left with us is one of frustration, disappointment, maybe anger, or anxiety. That list could go on, and the list isn’t a good one. Aaargh!

Why People Don’t Respond: Common Reasons for Silence

But let’s visit for a quick minute about why this happens? After all (except for toddlers), it’s a simple expectation that adults have of one another. So why don’t people respond? Here are a few reasons:

• Too busy
• Not sure what to say
• Make an assumption the requester already knows the answer
• Doesn’t value the requester or their time

And then the reality of the “why” has a cause and effect. The requester stops passing along information. No response needed on that! Ruh roh!

How to Respond During Your Job Search: Building Professional Relationships

So how does all this tie in to being a purpose seeker or job seeker?

Job Search Networking Requests You Should Always Respond To

Think of all the requests you receive when you’re in one of those positions. Here are some typical requests or statements you might receive:

• Hey, there’s someone I think you might benefit from meeting. What do you think?
• Wow, you did a great job / poor job with ___________.
• Here are some thoughts I had about your resume.
• I’m happy to be able to connect you with George. Please reach out to him at your convenience.
• I know you’ve applied to XYZ company – did you have a chance to talk with George?
• I’m thinking of and praying for you during this transition

• one who provides encouragement
• By following through with networking introductions to get something set up
• By responding to requests you receive
• Even if you are busy and fall behind, don’t just let the request go…respond!

Professional Communication Tips: How to Stay Responsive During Career Transitions

Time Management Strategies for Staying Responsive

Use whatever tips / tricks you can to help ensure you can be responsive. Here are a few:

• Calendar your time to set appointments for follow up and responses
• Use email categories to prioritize responses you need to make
• Develop a discipline with social media tools to ensure a request doesn’t go unresponded to (aka a text request comes from a friend, but before you respond, another text from that same friend comes in on a different topic, and you miss getting back to the original request)
• Get counsel from a Crossroads Guide with their ideas

Biblical Principles for Responsive Communication in Your Career

Ok, so hopefully your head is now nodding a “yes” in response (no pun intended there). As we always want to do, let’s look at the Scriptures for insight and guidance.  

First, we see that God always has a response. It may not be what we think we want or are asking for, but His promises are real. We have His Word, which is full of guidance and revelation of His will. For example, 1 John 5:14-15 tells us, “And this is the confidence that we have toward Him, that if we ask anything according to His will He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of Him.”

Second, as you may have already experienced, if we’re not good stewards with what we’ve been given, we won’t be given more. The parable of the talents chronicled in Matthew 25:14-30 concludes with (v29b) “But from those who do nothing (with the talent), even what little they have will be taken away.” Luke 16:10a hits the same theme with, “If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones.”   

Bottom line, how we respond with what we’ve been given matters. Our response will be a barometer for what’s entrusted to us in the future, even for something as seemingly small as a network referral. 

Real-World Networking Success: When One Response Changes Everything

I’ll close with this story from when I was unemployed in Los Angeles after the implosion of Arthur Andersen. I had the opportunity to network with the Chief Human Resources Officer (CHRO) for the Los Angeles Dodgers, so I drove over to Chavez Ravine Stadium to meet with him there in his office.

His office overlooked the third base line, and it was across the hall from the office of the incomparable former Dodger manager, Tommy Lasorda. The walls of Tommy’s office were filled (quite literally) with pictures of him with notable people from all over the world. 

When I asked the CHRO how he managed to land this fabulous job, he said, “Well, one day I was mowing the lawn, at the same time as my neighbor. When we both finished, we talked for a little bit, and I shared with him that I was looking for work as a CHRO.  

He responded, “Hey, I think my wife’s cousin’s brother-in-law’s friend knows someone over at the Los Angeles Dodgers, and I think they’re looking for someone in HR.”

Now, if you’re tracking with me, this is FAR from a solid lead for a networking conversation. Yet my new friend RESPONDED with, “Well how about that! I’d welcome the opportunity to talk with that person.” AND when the introduction was made, he followed through and that connection led to him getting the job! Who’d have thunk it?!?

You just never know when a response will pay off. But you can always bet on a non-response never paying off. I’d encourage you to respond. Give a great response! Expect nothing, but accept everything!

What I continue to hear time and time again is that the people you expect help from don’t seem to deliver, and the people you’d never expect help from somehow come through and help you! I know that was the case for me as well. So a response is always warranted, no matter how remote the possibility may be of it turning up a job for you. Be responsive, especially if you’ve sounded the ALERT. Reach out to one of our Crossroads Guides and see how well they respond to help you! Click here to schedule your FREE 45 minute consultation now. I guarantee you’ll not regret you did! Blessings!

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Dave Sparkman currently serves as the volunteer Crossroads Career board chair and local ministry leader. He is also the founder and managing director of Spark Your Culture, a corporate culture consulting firm. Prior to that he worked at UnitedHealth Group, a Fortune #5 public company, serving in the role of Chief Culture Officer. His unemployment experience came from the implosion of Arthur Andersen, where he served as the West Region Managing Partner, People.