Forget it!?!

Back on 4/15/25, we shared some thoughts under the title, “Don’t Forget” (Read HERE). In it are some practical reminders for people who are unfulfilled, unemployed, or disengaged (UUD). By the way, UUD equates to over 60% of American workers today per Gallup Research.

Now I’d like to visit the other side of the coin. What SHOULD we forget if we’re in one of those categories above?  

What We Should Forget

To do this, I’d like to draft off some quotes or adages we may have heard and apply it to anyone who is UUD.  

Let’s start with two foundational groundings for us from the Scriptures:

• 2 Corinthians 5:17 states, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” If you have become a Christ follower, you have literally been transformed into a new spiritual being! We are no longer held captive by our fleshly nature, and we have the Holy Spirit indwelling us, providing us power to truly forget things from our past.
• Philippians 3:13-14 further encourages us with “Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it (heavenly goal). But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” The Apostle Paul is telling the Philippian believers to not look back at their lives before meeting Jesus, but to keep moving forward WITH Jesus toward the abundant life He has promised (John 10:10).

Now let’s delve into some earthly wisdom you may have heard before and flesh them out with an eye toward career transition!

Common Earthly Wisdom

“Time’s the thief of memory” (Stephen King) – I place this one first because the common tendency most of us have is to immediately jump into the fray without allowing some time to pass from an event that may have caused UUD. Closely related to “time heals all wounds,” this adage suggests that the severity of the event lessens as time goes by.  

Rather than immediately diving into tactical approaches to solve UUD, give yourself some time to reflect and think about why something may have transpired, what you might need to learn from it, and what direction you should head next. That time will vary for every individual, but again, some time is necessary to fully comprehend and digest how to best approach your situation.

“What got you here won’t get you there” (Marshall Goldsmith) In addition to this phrase being the title of his best-selling book, Goldsmith’s words convey truth akin to the simple story within “Who Moved My Cheese?” Change in our lives is inevitable, and if we can anticipate, acknowledge, and accept those changes, then we stand in much better stead in dealing with those changes.

Looking forward rather than backward allows you to fulfill both those adages. At my former employer, UnitedHealth Group, our core value of innovation was supported with the tagline, “Learn from the past; Invent the future.”  We can learn from our shortcomings, but we can’t dwell on them if we’re going to effectively move forward.

Whatever person or event that may have caused or triggered UUD, we want to benefit from what we can learn from them / it, but we can’t allow what occurred to define either our identity or our next career steps. Shape, yes. Define, no.

“At some point you have to forget those people who have forgotten you” (Pinterest) – Specific application here for the topic of networking and career transition support. I experienced this in my own transitions, and I’ve seen this truth consistently over 20 years of supporting people in transition due to UUD.  

Most of the time, people get help from others with whom they don’t expect any help, and they don’t get help from the people they do expect it. We need to allot quite a bit of grace to accept this and again, just keep looking forward.

I’ve found that many people just aren’t quite sure how to best help people experiencing UUD, and often best intentions also just don’t seem to materialize.  

Anthony Hopkins sums it up well: Expect nothing. Accept everything!

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” (Maya Angelou) Whenever I ask people to think about someone who they would love to work with again, most of them immediately have a name (and face) flash into their mind. And the inverse is true too!  

And while often what people said and did meld together with how they made you feel, the better you’re able to identify and segregate those three components, the better you’ll be able to forget that person’s impact. Groucho Marx gives some good advice:

“I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.”   

“Forgive and forget” (common idiom) – 1 Corinthians 13:5b says, “…it (love) keeps no record of wrongs.” As many other Scriptures tell us, we are to forgive others as God has forgiven us (See 1 John 1:9 and Isaiah 43:25). And while we certainly are not God and often cannot fully forget past wrongs, both things we’ve done to ourselves, others and received from others, we are commanded to forgive others and not be burdened by the baggage that unforgiveness brings.

“You must forget your limits. You must forget your doubts, your pain, your past.” (Phil Knight)

“You see, when you’re hunting for the glad things, you sort of forget the other kind.” (Eleanor H. Porter)

Have you ever heard someone tell you, “Just forget about it!”?  

I have. And every time there’s NO WAY I can ever just forget about it!  

So I recognize that when we try to convey some counsel to people in UUD to “forget it,” a blog with pithy quotes about what you should do just isn’t going to get it done.  

Yet I also recognize that when I hear or read some truthful statements, and can accept them, I can then begin to forge ahead. And sometimes that deals with my own guilt or shame. Let’s ensure we differentiate between guilt and shame:  

• Guilt: associated with a specific behavior or event that violates our personal standard 
• Shame: a feeling of being inherently flawed or unworthy as a person.

Use Scripture as Your Guide

As a Christ-follower, I can use guilt to be aware of my sin and mistakes, but I should never confuse those convictions with the identity I have in Jesus Christ, who has taken away my shame.

Thus, for career transition, I can use those human wisdom quotes above to move forward to whatever God has in store for me. To do the work He has prepared for me to do (Ephesians 2:10)

I want to close with some timeless TRUTHS from Scripture.

KNOW – Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

PRAY – Psalms 51:10 “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” 

Remember – – Forget it!!  

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Dave Sparkman currently serves as the volunteer Crossroads Career board chair and local ministry leader. He is also the founder and managing director of Spark Your Culture, a corporate culture consulting firm. Prior to that he worked at UnitedHealth Group, a Fortune #5 public company, serving in the role of Chief Culture Officer. His unemployment experience came from the implosion of Arthur Andersen, where he served as the West Region Managing Partner, People.