Why Am I Not Moving Forward? Is Forgiveness The Key?

When you are wading through the swamp of unemployment or sitting in a job that feels completely unfulfilling, it is incredibly easy for resentment to take up permanent residence in your heart. You re-run the tape of how you were let go, how your boss passed you over for that promotion, or how a trusted colleague threw you under the bus. If you’re like me, it’s sooooo easy to do.

Before you know it, you are driving down the highway of your life trying to look forward through the windshield, but your eyes keep straying to the rearview mirror.

You cannot navigate where God is taking you next if you are fixated on where someone else hurt you in the past. Regret, bitterness, and self-blame lock your gaze backward, guaranteeing that you will crash into whatever is right in front of you.

Forgiveness vs. Reconciliation After a Career Setback

I was recently listening to Pastor Josh Howerton on the Shawn Ryan Show, where he shared some profound insights on the deep human need for forgiveness, reconciliation, and justice. The questions and examples Shawn shared were real…and raw…I felt like I was almost in a personal counseling session. This podcast has some of the best, practical teaching on forgiveness I’ve ever heard. Josh made a distinction that every job seeker needs to hear: Forgiveness takes one person, but reconciliation takes two.

What the Bible Says About Forgiveness and Moving Forward

In Matthew 18:23-35, Jesus tells a powerful parable of the unmerciful servant. A king forgives a servant an astronomical debt—billions in today’s terms—that he could never repay. But as soon as that forgiven servant steps outside, he grabs a fellow servant who owes him a minor daily wage, demands payment, and when his fellow servant can’t pay, the forgiven servant has him thrown in jail. When the king hears of this, Jesus tells us, in verse 34:

Forgiveness is an act of obedience between you and God to release an offender from your personal cross; reconciliation is the mutual rebuilding of trust, which requires both parties to be willing and trustworthy. You may never be able to reconcile with a toxic company or an unfair boss—and God doesn’t require you to step back into a bad situation—but He does command you to forgive. Why? Because unforgiveness doesn’t hurt the person who wronged you; it imprisons you from the inside out.

“And in anger his master delivered him (the unforgiving servant) to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt.”

As Josh pointed out in his conversation with Shawn, when we refuse to forgive others—or refuse to forgive ourselves for past career mistakes—we are putting ourselves in prison, and even worse, we give ourselves to the tormentors. Unforgiveness creates a spiritual and emotional prison cell. You think holding onto your anger gives you power over whoever wronged you, but in reality, you have handed them the key to your peace.

Unmasking the Heart: What Step #3 Teaches Us About Attitude

In Step #3 of our Crossroads Career workbook, Created For Good Works, we focus heavily on Attitude, because your internal heart posture dictates your external success. In our materials, we remind job seekers that bitterness acts like static on a radio, completely drowning out God’s quiet direction for your life.

Specifically, Step #3 unpacks two underlying emotions that sabotage job seekers during career transitions: anger and fear.

• Anger is one letter away from D-A-N-G-E-R. When job loss or unfair treatment occurs, anger is often our immediate defense mechanism. But when allowed to fester into bitterness, anger becomes dangerous. It spills over into interview conversations, subtle body language, and networking interactions, signalling to prospective employers that you are carrying unhealed baggage.
• Fear is often the root beneath the anger. We fear financial ruin, fear losing our professional identity, or fear that we will never find meaningful work again. Fear paralyzes action and drives us into self-preservation—making us cling tightly to grievances rather than releasing them to God. Perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18), reminding us that our security rests in God’s provision, not in human approval or job security.

Practical Steps to Release the Debt

So, how do we practically throw open the prison doors of unforgiveness, tackle anger and fear, and get our eyes back on the windshield? Here are four practical steps to use as a framework to move forward:

1. Create a “Debt Ledger”

In his interview, Josh Howerton talked about how forgiveness is essentially an accounting transaction. When someone wrongs you, they create an emotional or financial debt. Write down on a piece of paper the exact names and debts you feel you are owed (e.g., “My former manager owes me an apology,” or “I owe myself forgiveness for making a bad career choice”). Be very specific with how you believe you’ve been wronged.

2. Cancel the IOU

Next to each entry on your Debt Ledger, write: “Paid in full by Jesus.” Realize that Christ absorbed your massive, unpayable debt on the cross. Forgiving that former boss or yourself isn’t saying what they did was okay; it is simply transferring the debt collector duty from your hands to God’s hands, just as He took the debt of your sins upon Himself. Pray over the list, asking God to help you to fully forgive the people who wronged you. Then take that paper and tear it up as an act of release.

3. Separate Forgiveness from Reconciliation

Release the requirement that the other person must apologize before you can move on. Give yourself permission to forgive them unilaterally so you can be free, while maintaining wise boundaries around whether you ever work with or trust them again.

4. Don’t Go It Alone!

Unforgiveness loves secrecy and isolation. When you bottle up your bitterness, it metastasizes into cynicism. Talk through your Debt Ledger with a trusted mentor, an accountability partner, or one of our Crossroads Guides who are ready to listen, pray, and help you process the pain in a safe, faith-filled environment.

Let Go of the Past and Move Forward with Purpose

You cannot step into the future God has prepared for you if your hands are still clenched around the grievances of yesterday. Set down the Debt Ledger, let go of the rearview mirror, and trust that the God who redeemed your past is the same God to lead you toward a harvest of purpose.

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Dave Sparkman currently serves as the volunteer Crossroads Career board chair and local ministry leader. He is also the founder and managing director of Spark Your Culture, a corporate culture consulting firm. Prior to that he worked at UnitedHealth Group, a Fortune #5 public company, serving in the role of Chief Culture Officer. His unemployment experience came from the implosion of Arthur Andersen, where he served as the West Region Managing Partner, People.