Hello everyone! Welcome to another exciting edition of (drum roll, please) The Blame Game! As you’ve seen from past competitions, this game strives to extract the best blaming and shaming from our contestants! Everything is up for grabs and nothing is sacred as we explore why people do the things they do (and don’t do) for reasons they have trouble fully explaining!
Ok, if you’ve already got a strange look on your face as you read the opening lines of this blog, I’d consider you to be a completely normal person. Yes, the introductory paragraph was sarcastic, and I think most of us would agree that it wouldn’t make for great television, or even a good reality show, but I also think we could agree that we’ve all experienced some semblance of the blame game in our own lives and the lives of others.
Perhaps some of you are scratching your head in bewilderment because you honestly have no clue what the blame game is. Let’s get a definition established because this is a real thing! Merriam-Webster defines blame game this way: “a situation in which different individuals or groups attempt to assign blame to each other for some problem or failure.”
Hmmm, doesn’t sound very healthy or entertaining. Why would people do that? Because as humans, we typically tend to want to protect our reputations and avoid guilt for mistakes. So, if something goes wrong or not according to plan, we initially don’t look at ourselves, but others. We don’t want to be wrong. We don’t like falling short of a goal. We sometimes are a tad lazy and don’t really go through all the potential steps we could have done to find success. Throw our individual insecurities into the mix, and voila, a blame game ensues!
How does that apply to people who are unemployed or unfulfilled? Good question. Here are a few scenarios:
- Jerry was fired from his job, but he can’t seem to explain why. It was the poor job description, a lousy boss, and an organization that had a bad culture.
- Sally is grappling with a job that isn’t fulfilling. Rather than look at her own aptitudes to do the job, she is blaming her colleagues for their ineptitude and the work process as a “can’t win” environment.
- Hal is genuinely puzzled. He can’t understand why he can’t seem to hold a job for more than a year at a time. He’s had 5 jobs in 5 years, and there doesn’t seem to be a pattern as to why the jobs don’t fit. He thinks the economy is to blame for his inability to land a new job.
- Heather isn’t achieving the goals her boss has laid out for her. She thinks they’re unattainable, and her boss is unreasonable and not willing to listen to her rationale for different goals.
- Joe isn’t happy that all his colleagues seem to be getting promotions or new assignments, and he is not. He assigns blame to all of them for kissing up to the boss. He believes his own work is just fine, and he should not have to do anything different to warrant recognition and advancement.
I could go on and on and on. Over the years I spent in corporate America in Human Resources and Culture roles, the scenarios I could cite about how the blame game affects employment and fulfillment are almost endless.
At this point, you’re hopefully on board with me that not only is the blame game fairly common, but you’re also quietly admitting that you may have played it in the past (perhaps exceptionally well!) 🙂 I have to acknowledge that I have.
The problems that result from the blame game? Poor results and poor relationships lead the pack.
The solution? A healthy accountability mindset. Whenever we hit a challenging situation, and we feel the fear of failing or being insufficient to solve it, pause and ask yourself, “What more can I do to get a different result?” If we face the challenge head on and don’t look to shift the blame to someone else, we can assume an accountable mindset to find ways to do things differently to get different results.
Another useful tool we used in our culture work was the Accountability Ladder. It’s a vertical tool starting at the bottom with a lack of awareness and culminates at the top with fixing the problem. There are several versions of the ladder, and here’s one that may be useful to you:
In addition, as usual, Scripture has a few things to tell us about the blame game. When I googled, “What does the Bible say about blaming others?”, here are a few of the AI Overview responses I received:
- Genesis 3:12-13 “Adam blamed Eve, and Eve blamed the serpent for their disobedience in the Garden of Eden, highlighting the early biblical example of blaming others.”
- Hosea 4:4-19 “This passage emphasizes the need for personal accountability and warns against blaming others for one’s own sins.”
- Romans 2:1-29 “This passage warns against hypocrisy and judging others while engaging in similar actions, underscoring the importance of self-reflection.”
- Matthew 7:3-5 “Jesus’ teaching on the log in your own eye emphasizes the need to address your own flaws before addressing those of others.”
I also ran across a very useful article entitled, “How can I learn to stop blaming others for my problems” on one of my “go to” websites for Biblical questions, www.gotquestions.org.
Let’s all live out Galatians 6:5 “For we are each responsible for our own conduct” and fail to play the blame game!
Blessings!
Dave Sparkman currently serves as the volunteer Crossroads Career board chair and local ministry leader. He is also the founder and managing director of Spark Your Culture, a corporate culture consulting firm. Prior to that he worked at UnitedHealth Group, a Fortune #5 public company, serving in the role of Chief Culture Officer. His unemployment experience came from the implosion of Arthur Andersen, where he served as the West Region Managing Partner, People.
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